Monday, February 15, 2010

The DMV is your friend

I went to the DMV a couple of weeks ago. I went to make sure that when I drive back from my vacation out of the country, I have a valid license. I wanted to have a valid license while on vacation as well, just in case I wanted to rent a motor vehicle and drive around.

Little did I know what was waiting for me at the DMV.

Me:" Hi, I need to renew my license early. Can I do that?"
DMV:"Well, when is your license due for renewal?"
Me:" February 22nd, but I will be on vacation shortly after that and I want to have my new license before I leave.
DMV:" Well, I can take care of that. You are not applying too early."
Me" Here is the paperwork that I was handed when I received my number at the door."
DMV:" Thank you.
type type type
DMV:" Hmmm.
Me:" Hmmm? I don't think I have ever heard a good "Hmmm", unless you are going to break tradition.
DMV-----NOTHING
Me:" You are going to break tradition? Right?"
DMV:" What?"
Me:" The"Hmmm" you just said, that was good, right?"
DMV:" No...."
Me:" No (pause) it is good?" ever hopeful.
DMV:" Do you know that you have a ticket you need to take care of?"
Me:" Uh, ticket? Hmm, no. I need to take care of it? What?"
DMV:" Yes you have a speeding ticket. You were cited for speeding in Lassen county."
Me:" Lassen county? Does it say where?
DMV:" No, oh wait, Susanville."
Me:" Susanville? Susanville? OH, CRAP. Susanvile. I know."
DMV:" So, you know what I am talking about?"
Me:" yes."
DMV:" But that is not the problem."
Me:" WHAT? PROBLEM? HUH?"
DMV:" Yes. It seems that your license was suspended in 2007 because you did not report an accident."
ME:" I didn't report an accident?"
DMV:" Yes, you had an accident and didn't report it."
ME:" Uh, well it seems to me that you know about the accident. I have to report it? You just told me about it. You suspended my license because I didn't tell you about an accident that you know about?"
DMV:" That's not the point. You are supposed to report any accident that has more than $750 in damage or has personal injury."
Me:"(Smartass mode initiated) I didn't get injured. I was hit. It was not my fault. I did not suffer any damage. I don't know what happened to the other person, I felt a nudge, I heard screeching, I heard a crash, but it all happened to my left and behind me. We were in the middle of a corner and I could not see the outcome of the "collision". The police officer never told me to file a report."
DMV:" Uh, you should know. It's on the drivers test. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse."
Me:" What about just plain ignorance?"
DMV: not even a smile
Me:" Okay, I'm sorry. How do I rectify this horrible miscarriage of my driving privilege?"
DMV:" You need to submit an accident report."
Me:" How do I do that?"
DMV:" Fill this out."
Me:" What? Fill what out?"
DMV:" This accident report form."
Me:" OoooKay..." scribble, scribble, scribble
Me:" Here you go."
DMV:" Thank you."
Me:" Oh, you are more than welcome."

So the long and short of it is this.

I did not report an accident. The DMV knew I had an accident. Apparently, they sent me a letter about the fact that I needed to tell them I had an accident.

I am sure that I thought that if they sent me a letter to tell me to tell them I had an accident. They must already know. Right?

Well, apparently they didn't know. All they knew was that I needed to tell them that I had an accident. Since I didn't tell them that I had an accident, and they asked me to them that I had an accident. They went to their safe place and suspended my license.

I think that they forgot to tell me that they suspended my license. Over 2 years, I was driving on a suspended license. My insurance company never told me that my license was suspended. I am pretty sure that I never got a letter telling me my license was suspended. I think that I would have responded. Maybe it was double secret suspended license suspension.(Animal House reference)

Well, after I filled out the paperwork for them they were happy.

I received a letter from the DMV a week later telling me that my license was retroactively re-instated. It went on to mention that if anyone asks, it would not show up that it was suspended.

So, if I understand this correctly;
I was in an accident.
The DMV asked me to tell them that I had an accident. (They obviously knew about it)
I did not tell them.
They suspended my license.
I tried to renew my license.
They made me tell them about the accident.
They re-instated my license.
They told me it would not show up on any request to see if my license was suspended. (In other words it never happened)

So, am I really blogging this?

If I am not, just send me a letter telling me to blog about my recent dealings with the DMV. I'll understand.